Adventures in Bartending: A BEVY OF BOOZEY DELIGHTS!!

With all that fiction writing nonsense in my last blog post, I bet you thought I'd forgotten how to drink, huh? Well allow me to lay your fears to rest with THIS post.

Today ladies and gents, I'm gonna show you some shots. What do they have in common? They all came from THE BIG BAD-ASS BOOK OF SHOTS, which my awesome boyfriend Brandon gave me for Christmas and which is the boozer's Bible. *Crosses self* Amen!

I went to the liquor store and bought a bunch of various boozes just so that I would have more on hand in case the mood struck me to make one of the many hilariously named shots from that book. I brought home white creme de cacao, irish cream, blue curacao, spiced rum, bourbon, and amaretto. And I broke the bottle of blue curacao the moment I returned home. So no, there won't be any pretty blue shots on display today. Sorry.

But there's plenty of booze left, so enjoy my selections!

M&M

Disclaimer! With this shot I cheated a little. The original recipe, shown below, calls for Frangelico. Now, Frangelico is a hazelnut liqueur that comes in an adorable monk-shaped bottle. It retails for $20-$40 bucks. Amaretto is also a hazelnut liqueur, but it comes in an ordinary bottle and retails for $6.50. I bought Amaretto. So there.

1 part Frangelico
1 part white creme de cacao
Pour ingredients into a glass neat (do not chill).

This shot was warm and creamy and chocolatey, much like its namesake. I thoroughly enjoyed it.


Alabama Slammer I

This is one of many versions of this famous shooter. It's one of three found in the BIG BAD-ASS BOOK OF SHOTS alone. Again, I had to modify the original recipe just a tad. I had no pineapple juice on hand, so none found its way into my shot glass.

1 part Southern Comfort
1 part amaretto
Splash of OJ
Splash of pineapple juice
Shake with ice and strain into a shot glass.

This shot was sweet and fruity and just delightful. Girly, but men should like it as well.


Chocolate Jizz

Who do YOU think I chose to try this shot? Probably because it combines liqueurs that combine two of my favorite flavors: chocolate and coffee. What were you thinking? Get your mind out of the gutter!

1 part white creme de cacao
1 part coffee liqueur
Shake with ice and strain into a shot glass.

This shot was just...okay. I really wanted to like it, but there just wasn't much pizazz. There really didn't seem to be a reason for the coffee liqueur to be included. The white creme de cacao I get. That provided the chocolate flavor referred to in the name. So that made the coffee liqueur the what? The jizz? Umm, no? Coffee liqueur is thin, not creamy or sticky or viscous. Not to mention it tastes like coffee. 

Maybe what this shot needs is a new name. How about Mocha Shot? 


Chocolate Sundae

Mmmm...look at it.

1 part Irish Cream
1 part white creme de cacao
1 part coffee liqueur
Layer in a shot glass. Top with whipped cream.

I enjoyed this shot. Look at it: it even looks like its namesake. How cute! But as it is supposed to be a layered shot I can't call mine a success, even if it was yummy and attractive. I make layered shots all the time, but for whatever reason I have a hard time when the drink includes Irish cream. It just doesn't want to play along! Damned IRA!

I'm gonna try this one again, though. Just watch me!

Adventures in Bartending: Christmas Edition!!

What says Merry Christmas better than festive shots? NOTHING.

On that note, I give you the Christmas edition of my periodic blogging adventure through the liquor cabinet that I affectionately call ADVENTURES IN BARTENDING!!

HERE WE GO!

Santa Shot

Ingredients:
3/4 oz. grenadine
3/4 oz. green crème de menthe
3/4 oz. peppermint schnapps

Preparation:
(1) Pour grenadine in a shot glass
(2) Float green crème de menthe on top
(3) Float pepperminet schnapps on top

Watch out!
The Santa Shot is a layered shot. I first talked about layered shots in an earlier bartending adventure. Making layered shots can be tricky. The steps are simple: pour the first layer into the glass, then place a spoon into the glass upside down, the tip of the spoon just barely touching the top of the liquid. Then slowly, sl-o-o-o-w-l-y trickle the liquid for the second (or third) layer over the back of the spoon.

Sounds easy, but it's painstaking work.

The Santa Shot tasted like a cold, extra-sweet, boozy candy cane. Yummy! A good shot for the women in your alcoholic life.



Santa's Breath

Ingredients:
1 part whisky
1 part Sambuca

Preparation:
(1) pour whisky into shot glass
(2) float Sambuca on top

As mentioned in my earlier bartending adventure about layered shots, this shot was a special lesson for me in density. Although I poured the whisky into the glass first, then oh-so-carefully layered the Sambuca on top, when I was done the whisky was the top layer. Oh the chemistry! Where's Mr. Wizard when you need him?

Santa's Breath is STRONG and vaguely medicinal. It'll put hair on your Christmas-loving chest.





Merry Christmas everyone! And DRINK UP!

Adventures in Bartending 3, Part 1: Tequila and Board Games on a Friday Night

For my third Bartending Adventure I decided to play with tequila because, well just because I never really had before.

Don't get me wrong. I love a pretty and delicious margarita as much as the next grrrl. But until this weekend I'd never explored any other sides of Mexico's most famous contribution to the world. So I busted out my bartending guide and I picked out a few different drinks.

My Bartender's Bible



I picked out some girly drinks: Alamo, God Bless Texastini, and one called Salma Hayek (that actually didn't turn out that well).
And I picked out some not-girly drinks: Alamo Powow, Flat Tire at the Border, Prairie Fire Shooter, Tequila Slammer.

Now I had every intention of trying all of those drinks. And frankly that's a lot of drinks. So I decided to spread the Adventure out over Friday and Saturday nights. That way I should be able to avoid the pesky alcohol poisoning.

Let's get to the Adventure!

Friday night started with tequila slammers and a kick-ass board game Brandon found called Furt.




Tequila Slammer

The Tequila Slammer is a simple, classic shooter. It's 1&1/2 ounces of tequila and 2 ounces of Sprite. Pour both liquids in a rocks glass, then slam it down so it gets all fizzy and shoot! Simple, fun, and an awesome way to open a cool party game like Furt.





Coolest Game You Haven't Played Yet



 Furt kicks so much ass. And I sincerely enjoyed the Tequila Slammer. We were all laughing and having a grand time. Brandon texted his brother and sister to tell them about the game and they immediately responded with an invite for Saturday night. But I wanted more to drink. And there was a nearly full bottle of vodka in the closet, and a recipe for an intriguing sounding drink in my bartender book: The Mind Eraser.

The Mind Eraser isn't a tequila drink, so I don't suppose it really belongs in this Adventure. But it was a Bartending Adventure weekend, and that was a new drink for me, so there! It belongs!

Mind Eraser
1 ounce vodka
1 ounce coffee liqueur
club soda to fill

Pour the liquids into a rocks glass with ice. Stick in a straw and drink all at once.

Here's what the Mind Eraser tastes like: fizzy, alcoholic iced coffee. That's pretty much it. And it's pretty much yummy.



Drinks Go Sideways When You're Drunk





An hour or two into what's now one of my all-time favorite party games I lost spectacularly. A couple tequila slammers, a couple mind erasers and a whiskey drink caught up to me all at once and I collapsed on the floor in a fit of giggles. And that was that.

But that was hardly the end of my Bartending Adventure weekend. We had plans to get together with Brandon's brother and sister, their significant others, and their folks Saturday night, and I had plans to bring my Adventure to them.

Tune in tomorrow night for Adventures in Bartending 3, Part 2: Hangovers are like Girl Scout Badges for Bartenders, Right?

Still to Come!

COMING SOON TO THIS GRRRL'S BLOG!!

Next weekend I will regale you with tales of my latest Adventure in Bartending! (I'm gonna experiment with tequila!)

Next month--the second Saturday of April to be exact--I will review a fabulous novel by J. Birch, Gasher Creek!

In between, well, let's just see what happens!

Adventures in Bartending 2: I Get Layered

A Couple o' X-Rated Shots!

I like shots. I like taking shots in celebration. I like taking shots while watching horribly bad movies to get shit-faced. I like ugly shots. I like spicy shots. But most of all I like pretty shots. And the prettiest shots, in my opinion, are layered shots.

So of course, for my Adventures in Bartending, I've decided to learn how to make pretty layered shots. And the first two I'm gonna try are the Slippery Nipple and the Hot Pink Pussy!

First up: the Hot Pink Pussy! It turned out GREAT. Yummy and so very very pretty! All pink and stuff. See?

Hot Pink Pussy from the side

The recipe is simple: equal parts Hot Damn and Tequila Rose. The recipe I found online called for Firewater schnapps instead of Hot Damn, but who cares, right?
And this shot KILLED. This definitely goes in the Adventures in Bartending Winner's Circle!

Next up is the Slippery Nipple! I tried to make these last night without much success. The two liquids just didn't want to layer. They wanted to mix. So the shots just looked muddy and unappetizing. But last night I followed the recipe, which called for floating the Irish Cream on top of the Black Sambuca. Because of the success of the Hot Pink Pussy, though, tonight I decided to layer the Black Sambuca on top.

The result?

Slippery Nipples!

Notice how the Irish Cream is on the top? That's the wonder of science! I poured the Irish Cream into the shot glasses first, then slowly trickled the Black Sambuca on top over the back of a spoon as my bartender's guides instruct. But then lo and behold! The Sambuca fell through the Irish Cream to the bottom of the glasses, and the Irish Cream rose to the top, and they formed clean layers and YAY! I'm so pleased with how pretty these shots turned out.

AS with the Hot Pink Pussy, the recipe for the Slippery Nipple is very simple: equal parts Irish Cream and Black Sambuca.

All in all I have to declare this Bartending Adventure a success!!!

Adventures in Bartending!

A Tale of Two Shooters

Welcome friends!
It's the third Saturday of the month and that means it's time for a bartending adventure! As my bio says, I write shit and I talk shit, and I read shit, and I drink shit.

Today is the day that I celebrate drinking shit!

For Christmas my sexy-and-wonderful-and-generous-and-well-read boyfriend Brandon (follow him on twitter!) gave me an awesome bartender's guide, The Everything Bartender's Guide. With this book, I'm going to become the best fucking unlicensed bartender in the state of Texas! And once a month, I will share my adventures with YOU!

For my first adventure, I'm tackling a couple of shooters, chosen in part because they both use peach schnapps as their base, but mostly because of their colorful names: The Brain Hemorrhage and The Red-Headed Slut. 

Here they are!

The Brain Hemorrhage

This is an aptly-named drink, for starters. When I presented it to my victims friends their first reaction was: "Gross!" But it went down smooth. It tasted like you would imagine a diabetic's blood would taste. SWEET, in other words.

Here's the recipe:
1 ounce peach schnapps
1/4 ounce irish cream
1/4 ounce grenadine

The Red-Headed Slut

I much preferred this shooter. It's crisp, and somehow reminiscent of ice tea.
Here's the recipe:
1 ounce peach schnapps
1 ounce jagermeister
2 ounces cranberry juice

Bartending 101
A note on definitions: A shooter is much like a shot in that they're small amounts of liquid and are intended to be drunk in one gulp, but the two differ in one important respect. Shots contain only alcohol. They can be mixtures of alcohols, but they're only alcohols. Shooters also contain mixers.